Last week, I went to Denver for a one-day trip to our office out there. I shouldnt be surprised, but of all the annoyances related to air travel, I ran into every one of them.
1. Security
Yes, you need to take your shoes off. Probably your belt and jacket as well. We all do. There's no reason for you to assume you are immune to this part of security.
2. Boarding
In this day and age, most airlines print a "seating area" on your boarding pass. Please pay attention to this & only board when your area is called. The corral everyone must go through isn't large enough to allow your family of four to turn around and retreat comfortably when you realize you're in seating area 3 when seating area 1 is being called. Speaking of corrals, I've got a bone to pick about United's Red Carpet Club, but that will be addressed below.
3. Carry-on luggage
I realize you may have had an issue with missing luggage in the past, or you're not interested in taking the extra time to check your bigger-than-carry-on-luggage, but there has to be limits. The airlines should probably do more to prevent passengers from lugging on huge carry-on pieces, but the passenger shouldnt be absolved from blame either.
When storing your carry-on, how hard is it to put the wheel-y suitcases in, wheels first? You leave more space for others & look less like a first-time traveler if you store correctly. Also, take a minute to look around & some time to listen to any announcements by the airline staff. If the flight is full, your laptop bag, coats, scarves, purses do not belong anywhere but under the seat in front of you. Less footroom kind of stinks, but guess what, it beats being selfish.
4. Children
Yes, kids need to travel too, but please be prepared to keep your children occupied throughout the flight & if they're doing something controllable (like kicking the back of a seat), have them stop.
5. Talking
If you're on a flight at an hour many people would rather be sleeping (6AM), don't take it upon yourself to tell your life story to the passenger sitting next to you. If you do, please use your inside voices, and for goodness sake, take a breath every once in a while.
6. Exiting the plane
I'm not sure what happens, but somehow at least 5 people forget where they put their items. Knowing where your items are, and getting them as quickly as you can, is key for everyone on the plane. Everyone wants to get off the plane, the last thing passengers want to do is wait for Susie Packsalot to find her oversized carry-on and laptop bag.
7. First Class
Now, I think my dislike for this portion of air travel is strictly rooted in jealousy, so take that for what it's worth. In any case, here are my issues with first class, specifically with United Airlines:
- United Airlines has what's called the "Red Carpet Club" - this involves access to secret areas inside the terminal with what I can only imagine is free-flowing booze, HD televisions, food & free internets. I've been in one before, and to be honest, I had no idea they even existed prior to that. At O'Hare atleast, the doors aren't that noticable to anyone not looking for them. In Denver, however, the doors are at the end of a moving walkway, and when they open, you wish you could go inside to hang out with all of the important people who are obviously too good to sit out at the airport bar with the rest of us.
- The Red Carpet Club also involves an actual piece of red carpet. There's a doormat-sized red carpet at the gate, in a separate corral area (which is located directly next to the "rest-of-us" corral). It was funny when the gate agent hooked the red carpet corral belt thing, and unhooked the rest-of-us corral belt thing to signify that it was now our turn to board. As if some sort of statement was being made to those of us not privy enough to walk over the red carpet.
- Once we board the airplane, it always gets my grits (I dont really know what that means) to see that as I'm struggling to make it down the aisle, we have the pleasure of walking through first class. The big seats are nice, but these people already have drinks in their hands? Meanwhile, I'm waiting for Susie Packsalot to shove her bigger-than-carry-on-luggage sideways into the overhead compartment. :(
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